Singing Food

Hannah Glasse, the first Domestic Goddess - came to me.

What a frightfully aggressive woman. She forced me to sing Rock.

I was asked by Diane Abbott to an ‘Organic Food in East London’ seminar. I was the ‘After Dinner Speaker’ to over 400 delegates.

On finishing this so called ‘Organic’ ‘Dinner’ I was sucked into a Hannah Glasse trance (of course unbeknownst to me until exiting said trance).

Hannah Glasse was a Victorian cookbook writer – she wrote a cookbook that could be used by normal people (ie Middle Classes).

However on this evening Hannah Glasse had a vehement message – I was informed that the song Hannah Glasse got me to sing can be most likened to a mix of Def Leopard and Guns’n’Roses with a heavy dose of Gordon Ramsey.

Hanna’s anger seems to stem from her disappointment at our lack of decent food in this country – no doubt triggered by that evenings rawness of the vegetables, the complete lack of tasty offal, dry burnt steak, dreariness of pudding, burnt coffee, dried old cheddar and COMPLETE LACK of a good Claret or even Ale.

Only on finding myself in M&S 24hr being charged £29 for a slither of Salmon, bottle of Claret and Macadamia honeyed nuts did Hanna Glasse exit me.

I had my agent send Hanna Glasse’s apologies to Diane Abbott – who subsequently booked me for Boris Johnson’s ‘Welcome to Hackney’ party.

Spirits Enter me – Come and See – Try it for youself.