Life Lesson: Number 1 and 2

1. boni pastoris est tondere pecus non deglubere
2. Learn Latin

Wicca'd Thoughts

Alas and pity Miss Orla - yes i'm succumbered.

Wicca spirits are taunting and cruel.

I was asked to a small prison in Iceland to evict and evoke the Criminal Wicca spirits out of the prison's upper class convicts.

You see I know and their families know that it's not their rich children breaking laws - but wicked lower class 'Wicca' spirits possessing their grown strong children.

So one by one I invited each of these polo shirted, floppy haired, arrogant, strong willed, muscular men into my borrowed cell (they found me a double ensuite near the prison kitchen).

Sitting them opposite me - with my hands running from their shoulders to knees - via their rugby thighs - murmuring the anti-wicca chants that my Aunt Mooomoo had taught me on a weekend in Alberta in '82 - I felt a niggling fire lite up. A fizzing and tingling in all my pointy bits.

Tip of nose, little little toes, pouting lips, stirring hips.

My tongue kept licking, the lips I kept nibbling. I blushed, I rappidly blinked, my heart raced, I giggled.

A mighty Wicca curse. I nearlly fainted. My assistant offered to sit with me, or take me outside. No - I shouted - I will over come.

Then the strongest of the Wicca Demons came in - the demon was hidden in Janak - a 24 year old blonde man with fire in his eyes.

I got permission to cover the glass panel in the door so we were alone. I forced that Demon out of Janak. Thrown around the room - I was locked in a flaming furnace of Flesh and Spirit. The demonic howls left both our bodies - building to a total eviction of SPIRITS.

Janak slept afterwards - the rattling echo of that Wicca spirit may never leave me - but I know I did my duty to the full and earnt my £18,000 rightly.